Adobe Creative Residency - Ai on iPad
I had the honor of participating in the Adobe Creative Residency Fund this year. During my time, I was commissioned to create a triptych of pieces on Illustrator on iPad. I wanted to capture some kind of personal and abstract concept leveraging the new tools. Honestly, there's no way to really transition into this, so let's just jump in:
A few years ago, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder.
So now that it's out there, it's not so scary right. You may be feeling awkward and uncomfortable, but that's ok. I'm going to try to break down my experience and give you some visuals to accompany.
It's been an interesting journey with a lot of learning and growing through experience and struggle. I too have always felt uncomfortable with the topic of mental health. It feels so personal and awkward to bring up. The idea of diverting from some kind of normalcy is always isolating. But, as I began to research and grow, I discovered more and more creatives that were growing on their own mental health journey.
It shouldn't be weird to talk about. We all have different experiences and it's an opportunity to share your unique perspective.
For my Creative Residency commission, I wanted to try to visually document the different zones of Bipolar 2 that I tend to fall into. There are three sections that I exist in:
Manic, Balanced, and Depressed
Here's what they look like for me:
MANIC
Manic is the most jarring zone. This happens often when I am stressed, but at times, just comes out of nowhere. It's the equivalent of being plugged into the matrix and having an entire database of everything you've ever known pumped into your brain at the same time. I become hyper focused and have to do all the thing. I'll often clean my room for hours on end into the wee hours of the morning. It feels as if my body is vibrating with the air. There's no way around this one. It's something that I just have to push through.
BALANCED
This is my regular state of existing at this point, which is a major win. It's like a duck swimming on water. I sit in the exact middle of flowing gracefully on the water and franticly padding beneath. In this zone, I am aware that I can swing to either other zone at any time, but relish the time that I don't. Even though this would be considered the 'normal' for most people, I've learned to appreciate the swings as a part of the complexity of me.
DEPRESSIVE
These episodes are ROUGH. If you've ever seen a rom-com where the character sits in bed in their sweats with a bucket of ice cream, it's that. During my last episode, I was flat on the floor, listing to the new Taylor Swift album over and over. It's a crushing overwhelming dread of every aspect of life, as if a well is filling with water as I'm trying to climb out.
You have a unique experience and a perspective to share.
There is no normal and our mental health is constantly shifting and changing. From zone to zone and person to person. Don't be afraid to reach out for help or speak openly about where you are and your state of mental health.
